ULTRA - Triathlon Mom: Run Rabbit Run 100 - Accomplished but not satisfied

*Brief summary a few paragraphs down*

RRR has a tortoise and hare division. Anyone can enter either, but only hares compete for prize money, start 4 hours later, and cannot have a pacer. Despite the promise I made myself at Bryce that I would not do another 100 without a pacer, I signed up as a hare. I've felt a lot better about Bryce in the last couple months and wanted to compete with the fast girls to see where I'd match up.
I came into RRR ranked 8th hare woman. Prize money went to top 7 (turned out only top 5 by race start since they hadn't had enough women sign up as hares) and I wasn't that concerned with prize money, but it seemed like a good goal to aim for, to be in the money. I also wanted to break 24 hours.

My Elevation Tat (LOVE them) and a few of the kids matching tats the day we left

The fancy rental got my excitement going!

I've had good training going into RRR. Several 26 mile plus training runs, 2 night runs mostly alone, with minimal caffeine, that both went way better than Bryce. I got child care arranged for our 4 kids who we left at home since they had school and we had work out there, I got all my nursing school tests rearranged and took 3 in one week, but finally we were on our way! My husband and I drove out with friend and fellow Altra employee and social guru Caitlyn.

My awesome Altra cofounder husband speaking at pre race mtg. Altra was the title sponsor

Prerace meeting and atmosphere was fun and a good feeling. I spent too much of the night planning and packing drop bags (meant to do it before we left) but still managed to be in bed by 10:30. I have to say I really enjoyed the noon start. Got up when I felt like it and really slept since I wasn't paranoid I'd miss my alarm. Had a casual breakfast and finished getting ready and headed out the door at ease and not sleepy into the sunshine, not cold twilight. The air at the start too was exciting, I awkwardly slid into women start pictures and introduced myself to a few and after what felt like a forever wait, we were off.

Felt like a slight photo bomb on my part

Brief Summary: Didn't feel great the first 3 hours, worried me. Had to spend the first hour going straight uphill. Came into mile 21 30-40 min ahead of 24 hour pace. Ultra running rockstar Jason Schlarb paced me for 4 miles. Had a good next 25 mile loop and ran with a nice guy for some. We both saw a bear staring at us 20 feet ahead that turned out to be a tree stump. Had a 2 minute 12th wedding anniversary celebration at mile 41 (you'll have to read the long version to see where that went). Had another great all star pacer for 4 miles back up into the mountains, Duncan Callahan. Moved well through the night, stayed warm with some interesting attire choices. Staying awake and nutrition went much better than Bryce. Threw a temper tantrum in front of my husband and Jason Schlarb at mile 70. Climbed in our car at mile 74 for 15 minutes. Suffered hard, cried, prayed, hurt, heard things, and moved slow for the next 30 miles (6-7 hours). Was very thankful to be done. Spent the next 24 hours curled up feeling physically horrible in bed except for the quick jaunt to awards that was awesome.

Long version:

The first 4.5 miles are pretty much all uphill, much of it steep, a 1/4 mile of it straight up the ski slope Speedgoat style. Can't say I like warming up that way. And speaking of warm, it was hot out! It was fun to get to talk to Nikki Kimball for a few minutes on our way up. She's very nice. Had a freight train of about a dozen lead male runners come charging at me after they went off course and were on their way back. That was humorous but at least early in the race. I was a little behind 24 hour split time by the time we got to the top and from there my legs just didn't feel great. I got cold up there too after sweating so much the hour previous. The first 2.5 hours did not feel as easy as I would have liked them and it was easy to get worried, but I tried to be patient. Ran with a nice guy for some. Watched a Mtn biker spend 20 seconds checking out the woman in front of me. I was still behind time by aid station 2, Long Lake, and the legs were still a little grumpy with some knee pain here and there, and it was warmer than I expected, but eventually things came together and I finally got into a groove.

Heading down Fish Creek. Thank you Paul for the great photo!

Looks fun eh? A little more realistic photo of what this section was like. Tricky.

The run down to Fish Creek was long and quite technical for some which slowed me but surprisingly I came into Fish Creek almost 45 minutes ahead of schedule. Yes! Was great to see people I knew again, my husband and the Altra video crew that was up there covering the race. I moved quickly through the aid station since fellow hare Sally McRae and another girl I had also passed in the last 10 miles were right behind me. They'd made good time on the descent. As I started running out, teammate Jason Schlarb (who just finished 4th at UTMB, woah) on his bike, asked if he could ride next to me to the next aid station. I'd forgotten where we were and that this was the 4 mile road pacer section to stay safe from cars, but I said yes. It was SO neat to have him with me. This amazing world class ultra runner asked if he could ride next to and pace me. He was so attentive and caring about me and my pace and race and was wonderful to have along side me. The Altra video guys passed us with one sitting on top of the moving van filming. Crazy guys. Was fun to hear their cheers though.

Coming into Fish Creek Aid Station

So back to the race. I left that aid station first but Sally came quickly behind and passed me strong, I figured using her marathon background now that we were on the road. I didn't try to keep up with her, but turns out Jason and I rode 20 feet behind her the whole time anyway. We all got stuck at a stoplight and I don't know that she was too thrilled to see me pull up along side her. We ran together into the Olympian aid station and thanks to Jeremy, I left first feeling great. Still 30-40 minutes ahead of schedule.

This next section was about 20 miles and it felt like it, but wasn't too bad. Lots of climbing, gentle descending then more climbing. I ran into a guy I'd run with the rest of that loop with and it was nice to talk to someone. At one point in a very remote section of this course not near any exit route, just as it was getting time to turn our headlamps on, we both slowed cautiously at the same time. We both asked each other if that was a bear staring us down 20 feet ahead. It looked just like a bear. We both saw it separately before bringing it up. We moved forward slowly and it turns out it was a tree stump that looked nothing like a bear up close. So strange to have both seen it though. That is probably the closest thing to a hallucination I've had. We carried on through the loop a little impatient at times thinking the top had to have been here by now. Ran into an older man in the tortoise division with no headlamp and no warm layer and it was dark now. We wanted to help him but neither of us had anything extra and he said to go on. We knew there were people behind us so trusted he'd be ok. We picked our headlamps up at the previous aid station when it was plenty light. It's always best to have something before you'll need it. We continued on in good spirits and I was excited to get back to Olympian because I had a special surprise waiting.

My husband is great at having everything close by the check in point ready for me so I can take right off. And indeed he was there and ready, so when I ushered him inside the building behind us he wasn't too keen. That day, September 12th was our 12th anniversary, so with the help of a friend I packed an extra drop bag she set up for me for a little moment for us. He only let me have a sip, but it was nice to surprise him and spend a minute about us, not just me. And I was in a good mood and not worried about the extra 5 minutes we were taking.

Awe! I know, so cute. It was fun to plan and execute and was definitely a high point of the race

From there another teammate Duncan Callahan (2 time winner of Leadville 100) would pace me back up the 4 mile road section. He was just as great as Jason and I loved my time with them. He pushed a grilled cheese on me that went down fine. It was starting to get chilly and my calves had felt a tad strained before the race and here and there during so I decided to throw some compression socks on. My injinjis still felt good so put the compression on over them. I had shoes 1/3 size bigger than usual and had heard people wearing 2 pair before, so figured I'd be fine.

Headed off into the dark of night and back up rocky Fish Creek. It was so much more enjoyable going up. The moon was out and bright. I moved quickly and felt great and was running into lots of tortoises now. I was glad to see most were dressed so warmly with pants and jackets. Did fine with just my arm warmers and gloves but was ready for my jacket by the next aid station, Long Lake.

When I got there there was frost crusted on my drop bag. People huddled around the fire. I didn't get anywhere near them. A wonderful aid station volunteer hand fed me ramen while I put my jacket on and dug into my pack for caffeine. Wasn't feeling sleepy but figured it might be good to start it early so I could take a second dose around sleepy hours. It was about midnight at this point.

Got out of that aid station quickly and headed up the dark dirt road to the high point elevation wise on the course. 10,000+ I believe. I quickly realized it was colder than I thought. I had one buff on like a wide headband/ear warmer, and the other around my neck which would keep my face warm if I put the back of it over the brim of my backward hat so that it would stay over my nose/mouth/chin. My legs were cold though. I had tights waiting ahead, but they were a good 90 min+ away. So I improvised. Out from my pack came the short sleeve merino wool Icebreaker shirt I had for just in case and up over my hips it went. With just a few popped seams....Perfect skirt though! Knee length, stretchy body con style that really made a difference.

I wish we could have seen what was up there, it looked like it would have been beautiful. I met a man that started ultras a few years ago at the young age of 60. So cool. He was running right along side me when I encouraged him to come too! This sport has such age longevity, gives me comfort that decades from now I can still be doing this.

We pulled into the Summit aid station a little earlier than I was expecting which was great. The scene inside though was a battlefield. All men, most young and fit, huddled in chairs and blankets around the heater with warm food in hand. They looked like zombies. I think many were hares ahead of me. I wanted to push them to get out of there. I grabbed a chair super fast and got my tights on. Glanced at food but nothing looked good so I was off.

Ahead of me lay a 8 mile downhill dirt road in solid dark and cold. I was excited to see tortoises and lead hares coming back up the road, but it was hard to make out who anyone was so it was kind of quiet out there. I recall seeing teammate Josh heading up and asked him how he was doing. He said he was in second and I didn't think I heard him right so I said "2?!". That was so neat for him, I was happy he was having such a good day (he would go on the finish 2nd, amazing). I let my legs open up a little bit on this downhill road but tried to keep things under control. I finally got into the Dry Lake aid station hoping to see my husband, who wasn't there. It was a bit of a let down. Crews have so much driving to do and get hungry and tired too, I need to be more autonomous mentally sometimes and be prepared mentally for him to not be there. I pack drop bags so that he doesn't have to be there with stuff, it's just his presence I like having. Anyway, I was only 15 minutes up on 24 hour pace now. Seemed strange considering I ran it down at a quicker pace than what I thought 24 hour pace was, but that's what it was. So I decided on this next 3.5 mile downhill to the mile 70 "turn around" Spring Ponds aid station that I would push some. I told myself I wouldn't race or push till mile 70, but I wanted to put some time back on that sub 24 pace and get to the turnaround that mentally would be a big box checked feeling like we were heading back to the finish now. I estimated at the effort I was running, those 3.5 miles would take 35 minutes.

This. Right here, is what brings hope. This simple lit open canopy with a few people and some food.

I don't run with GPS but I really felt like I was running 8-9 minute miles, no slower. It felt a little reckless, but I was confident, it was basically the last 30 miles now after all, time to race. 35 minutes came, and I was still in total darkness, no sign of the lit up aid station I was waiting for. I was ok though. 40 minutes came, no sign, getting pretty pissed now. Seeing some lead women head up though, that was nice to know I wasn't too far off them (since I assumed the aid station/turn around was right around the corner...). 45 minutes has passed. SERIOUSLY?! There's no way I'm running 11 minute miles, where the heck is the aid station?! I saw teammate and friend Zac at this point and asked where the aid station was. His response "oh it's super close, you're almost there, like 1/2 mile away". 1/2 MILE AWAY?! Oh I was fuming now. 50 minutes later and an emotional angry mess I finally ran into it, after wandering around a fence unsure of how to get into it. My husband, and teammate Jason were cheering and hollering and telling me how well I was doing and I was just angry and being sharp and mean with them. I was so angry it took so much longer and that I was now not ahead, not on, but BEHIND goal time. Grrr! I wasn't really angry at them, but in my mind it was like they'd moved the aid station or lied to me about where it would be or something. Totally irrational. I was so anxious to see my husband and have a hug and I let my anger get in the way of it. They told me to calm down and that I was doing fine, but I was just so mad and took off as fast as I could. Looking back I'm so embarrassed of my behavior and how I handled my emotions. So what I thought was 3.5 miles turned out to be 4.5 miles - by MY mistake. I read my elevation tat wrong. 50 minutes still sounds way slower than I thought it would be, but more reasonable when you consider it was a mile longer than what I thought.

So I trudged grumpily back up the way I came, over what must have been 18 little bridges. Took forever. Near the top I was getting sleepy, pretty darn sleepy. I told myself at Bryce 100 that if it got bad I would allow myself 20 min of sleep in a safe warm place. I figured I was way behind 24 hour pace at this point and by my estimates at least 90 minutes ahead of the next woman, leaving my 4th place position intact for now, so I went for it. I didn't want to experience Bryce sleepiness again, especially when I wouldn't be done at dawn, more like noon because of the noon start. Met my husband at the aid station and told him I was sleeping. He didn't question me. Climbed in the SUV after not seeing anywhere in the AS tent and bundled up best I could. I told him to wake me up in 20 minutes no questions asked. And then it took me 15 minutes to fall asleep. I thought for sure I'd be out like a light like at Bryce but no luck. I asked/begged for more sleep when he woke me, but he was strong like I wanted him to be and got me out of the car. I didn't feel any better rested really. I SO did not want to get out of the car and carry on. I mean I didn't want to quit and DNF, especially with no good reason and still in prize money contention, but I just had little motivation and the looming pressure of 6-8 hours alone, ahead of me. I wouldn't see my husband until the end of the race.

It was still cold and I didn't want any hint of cold, so I put on about every layer we had. I looked ridiculous and shed many of them within minutes. Actually had a really hard time with temperature regulation the rest of the early morning (it was around 6am now I think). When we were running down the long dirt road hours ago, I enjoyed it, but feared going back up it, feared how long it would take. And it did. Man that road took forever. My husband drove by 1 more time and it was a strange feeling to let him drive away from me, to know my out was leaving. I power hiked much of this dirt road when I should have run. I was just so zapped physically and emotionally, I was cold, I was tired. This wasn't fun. It actually really sucked. FINALLY got up to the summit AS and really truly considered pulling out. $2000 of prize money that my little family could really use was looming heavy on me. I wasn't injured, just wasted. I would have no good DNF reason or story. Believe me, I went through that one in my head for an hour leading up to the aid station. I found no good way I'd explain it to my kids or my friends. But I was not having a good time. At all. And running really should be. I didn't expect to be feeling great, but this was really bad. Worse than I felt like I was trained to be feeling like. My eyes were so heavy and body was weak and shaky. I wasn't taking in as many calories as usual, but didn't feel like I really needed them with all the walking and the cold. Leaving that aid station felt like my last chance and it too felt lonely and worrisome leaving like with my husband earlier. Way behind 24 hour goal pace now.

This was shortly after the last pic, but my face shows my general self the rest of the race. Tired and worn

At this point there were only 2 aid stations left, but they were each about 10 miles apart. I was walking 85% of the time now. To run was to literally talk myself into it and force my body to trot for 50 yards or so. To think I was covering no more than 4 miles an hour was so intimidating. Intimidating because contact with people and coke was at least 2.5 hours away, and intimidating because at that pace, the race was going to take at least 5 more hours to finish, AT LEAST. Funny how I can leave for 5 hour training run and not think much of it, time passes pretty fast. But this 5+ hours sounded crushing. 20 miles sounded SO far to walk/occasionally run. I started hearing things now, whether it was an animal, or a person catching me, neither of which I saw of course. I was struggling so hard, harder than I ever have physically and mentally. Bryce's struggle was the hardest I ever have, but only sleep wise, I still felt ok energy and leg wise. I prayed in my head almost constantly, pleading for support, for my mind to change from the horrible discouragement I felt. I turned on the few Mormon Tabernacle Choir songs I have on my ipod (my regular music hadn't been doing anything for me for hours, and I needed the spiritual uplifting). I even stopped and knelt to pray once. I couldn't do this. And this wasn't staying in 4th or racing, I didn't feel like I could complete 100 miles today. But I wanted to get through it. I needed His help and I needed it badly. Some point soon after, the thought "This is hard, and I'm doing it, I can do hard things" or something close to that entered my mind. And I repeated it over and over and over for hours to will myself forward.

I got to the long lake AS at mile 90-92, can't remember. While I was happy to see them, there really wasn't much I wanted from them, I just needed to keep going and get this over with. Leading up to this aid station I was getting concerned that I was going to get passed anytime. At my pace, there's no way I couldn't not get passed. I asked them if they had a DNF list from previous aid stations, hoping for the security of not having to hurry the last 10+ miles, being able to walk without worry sounded nice. But they didn't have it. I had no way to know how close others were. So I left to get on with it. At this point, my feet hurt really badly. It wasn't a blister issue (I would finish the race with zero blisters, just like Bryce and every other race I've done since being in Altra's), but the balls of my feet were just on fire, they were so tender. Didn't happen in Bryce, but it was happening here. I ran into a guy also having a rough morning and we decided to carry on together. Most of the time it was me trying to keep up with him either because he was moving faster, or I was stopping. I stopped to squat a few times, but usually it was my feet. They hurt so very badly that I would stop and just press on the large bunion on each foot trying to relieve pain. I'd walk on the outside of my feet to avoid the pain, or just clench my fists and want to cry. Sometimes I did. I complained to him an awful lot and he was pretty patient. It was also in this section before the last aid station that I thought I heard Sally's voice behind me several times, giggly and happy, catching up to me. I didn't know how she hadn't yet, but I couldn't be within 10 miles of the finish and get caught now. I'd been struggling since 70, how could I give up that $2000 now with less than 10 miles to go. I would hurry as fast as I can, especially around corners or in open spaces to at least not be seen by her. It was nothing against her, but honestly I did want to finish in front of her. I feel like we're similar competitors and I wanted to prove to myself that I could finish in front of her, a very talented runner. I told him I heard her and he wasn't sure he did, but I did. We hurried as fast as we could (and by hurry I mean 12 minute miles). He made a comment on how badly I must want it with the desperate shuffle I had. We were anticipating an aid station any time, but it was hiding. It had been 30 minutes since I thought we would be there and it was no where in sight. Ugh. We came around a few bends we thought were the last and finally saw what we thought was the saddle we'd go over to drop back down into the ski resort but it was far too far away. And we were at like mile 96-98 according to him. That couldn't be it. It was of course. We got up there and I pulled the whole "did you guys move the AS, how many miles left" line, only to be given a big smile and "6 more miles". 6 more miles?! Wait what? This is a 102 mile race and we were at like 100 right now. 6 more miles means a whole nother' hour, at least! Oh my. I left before my new friend just desperate to be done, to get off my feet, and to not get passed by Sally. It was all downhill service road from here, sometimes steep, all of it super painful on my feet. I had to power hike down some of it, yes down because of my feet. I'd stop every once in a while and cry out in pain and rub my shoe over the ball of my foot/bunion. I kept my eyes up the switchbacks behind me and still didn't see another woman, but couldn't be sure. I looked back a lot. I saw Duncan about half way down and gave him an honest look for the moment. Sheer pain and torture. He told me to put on a smile, the whole team was down there waiting for me. I wanted to smack him for his good natured comment, I couldn't imagine smiling right now. 3 more miles was still half an hour left to run and boy did it look it as I'd look below me and not see the lodges getting any closer. There were a few spots I was concerned about flagging because at some point we'd get off the road and onto single track and can you imagine getting lost right on top of the finish?? I found the right spot and figured we had to be so close, but just like everything else I thought was close, it wasn't (relatively speaking). We had to wind down the trail for a while until finally seeing it. We would cross a bridge at some point but I wasn't sure where it was, I had to ask our video guy. I saw the finish. I was embarrassed at my time and how far behind the other women I was and how long the video crew had probably been there, but I was finally going to be done. I put my hand over my mouth some out of relief but mostly to cover my crying face of frustration. I was done though. 107 miles. 25:08. 4th place

Yep, that face pretty much sums up how I felt at the moment. I look like a dork

Felt a little bit better sitting in the stream. Reflecting on the day, surrounded by caring friends.

I enjoyed my husband and cried to him how hard that was and that the last 35 miles were so bad. I enjoyed him and our friends showing me so much support, but I was disappointed with my day (and night and day). Especially when I found out Sally had dropped early in the night. Yep. She hadn't been following me since mile 60. Wow. I was so disappointed to not have gotten to race her. I was so thankful I would bring home $2000, but sad I didn't get to race her, or several other women who dropped out. I almost felt like I won it by default and that wasn't what I wanted (no disrespect at all to those women several hours behind me). I was able to eat some pizza and drink my recovery drink thankfully and we wandered back to the condo.

Now I started feeling awful though, as I expected to (any ultra over 50 miles I've done my body revolts badly the next 24 hours). I felt my heart race, felt all the heat in my body over 24 hours radiating around me, my breathing was tight and short and made me nervous. I even called my nurse practitioner mom I was worried enough. I know she would have liked me to go to the ER for an IV and to be watched. She always worries about rhabdo (where your kidneys basically get overworked and shut down). My stomach was super angry and every muscle I had clenched. I stayed in bed all afternoon with a bucket next to me and cold washcloths on my forehead and chest, not even able to walk far enough to the living room of our condo without needing to sit and hold my bucket. I didn't go to dinner with my teammates :( I did want to go to awards though, when the heck else was I going to be able to accept a check for money like that?! So we very slowly loaded me in the car and then I very slowly walked to awards. Carrying a bag in my pocket to throw up in if needed. I had lots of sweet people come talk to me which was wonderful, many congratulations given. Thank you friends and strangers! Although I felt awkward there standing on a podium by myself since the top 3 women who all knew and hugged each other were awarded separately, it was wild holding a $2000 check.

L to R: Altra teammates Nick Clark (5th) and Josh Arthur (2nd)

That made the day worth it, but as my title states, I am not satisfied with the race. Some things went better. Nutrition was good, no real sour stomach. Sleep went better than Bryce and I learned the nap may not be worth it in the future, more time up at night practicing like I did between Bryce and RRR is what will help more. I rocked miles 30-70 and felt great going up the mountain from 10pm-4am. My time didn't end up being that much slower than 24 hours all things considered (but by the same thought, I imagine I could have finished in the 23's or possibly high 22's with a better day).
But I felt I was trained to handle those last 30 miles, far better than I did. I do not want to slog 30+ miles like I did. Again, I don't except them to feel like the first or even middle 30, but I believe they can be run and can feel better than what I experienced. That is the biggest reason I'm not satisfied with RRR 2014, I didn't perform a large amount of miles, the way I prepared to. I don't know why my 2nd day went like it did, but it did. I think improvement will come with time, simply with physical experience. Aside from not putting compression socks over my wool socks (possible cause for my bunion pain, I would and will wear the Paradigm again), I don't really have much to pull from this race that will help me with the next. I have heard many times and get that I finished while others did not, I know, and I am proud that I finished it, happy to have finished 4th even if it was several hours off 3rd place, but I wish Sally hadn't had to drop, I wish teammate Becky hadn't had to drop, I wish I'd felt better and competed the last 30 miles, not just completed.

*Note: please do not think that 'just' completing is not good enough. It is! I enjoy racing this way, competitively with time and place goals because it's how I like to race. It does not make it the right or only way to run or race. My hat is off to all who come and play!*

I would be happier with a 4th place that was within 59 min or less of 3rd place. To feel like I really belong with those ladies, not chasing their tails.
Always grateful for the chance to race, for a body that went 100+ miles even if it wasn't like I wanted it to, for family and friends who support and make this possible and for time in the wilderness. This was rough, but I look forward to doing it again (just not with a noon start, a finish at or before dawn is my preference I think) and learning more about the distance and figuring it out.

Race directing score: A- They did a great job and it's worth your time and money, just lacked a touch of markings here and there, particularly would have liked some "5 miles to go, 1 mile to go, 1/2 mile to go" signs at the end even a 1/2 mile to aid station if I'm being spoiled. And maybe an extra aid station on the middle miles loop. Scenery was great, but not amazing (I have high expectations for amazing since I like in the Wasatch)
Shoes: Altra Paradigm. Same pair, all 178 miles. Ok, ok, 107. Loved them, no complaints. Order 1/2 size up from other Altra's especially for ultras.
Nutrition: Vfuel. Elete electrolytes. Had a good day nutritionally, thanks guys!
Gear: Ultraspire quantum belt ($16 at TAUR shop right now, can't beat it, buy it, seriously, right now), Softflask 8oz flask I held (very useful), Nathan Vaporshape vest miles 50-80, Ultraspire Spry miles 80-107 (another excellent product, small-medium capacity vest, I run with it more than any of my vests, also on sale right now at TAUR).

Post race we had a 3 day Altra Athlete Summit discussing all things Altra and having a great time as teammates. There were photo shoots, hot springs, lots of great food, even a helicopter ride over the course which was pretty neat! Thanks to my husband for organizing it, it went great!