Bandera post race

I'm not really sure where to go from here.  I have ideas, but not much direction.  I'm not depressed about the race, but dissapointed yes.  I'm handling it better than I thought, but I'm a little lost as to the future.  Do I want to keep competing in national level, more competitve races and try to make a name for myself, or race whatever sounds fun?  The second choice sounds like the obvious one, but I feel a level of obligation to my sponsors to represent on a bigger field and I do love to compete.  Really, I think competing at big races but not having the pressure of a top 1 or 2 finish would still be fun.

Update 1-30-14

My mind was all kinds of scrambled and stressed in the weeks after Bandera. School had started and like I said above, I just had no direction racing wise. That makes it sound like running is my whole life, but it's not. I wouldn't be surprised if I deal with some form of ADD, so to not have any idea what was next on my schedule running wise whether it be a race or rest, to know how to plan my time, was eating at me. 

I spewed my confusion on several friends and a whole lot on my husband. Last Saturday I ran with a Ari and while she certainly didn't make my decision, she was a great sounding board and offered good feedback. My legs felt better then than they had earlier in the week. After Bamdera I had doubts that my training was actually as good as I thought it was. But you know what?  It was great.  I had some really great long (25-31) mile runs. And I got a really long run in at Bandera ;) I won't lie and call it a training run, but in the end I don't feel like I was able to push 100%, just an off day. But I came away healthy. I wasn't ready to let that fitness go. Enter Black Canyon 100k. 

I figured since I scored Montrail Ultra Cup points at Bandera, I might as well try to race another of the 5 or so races to be eligible to be ranked with them. I really debated going out to Gorge Waterfalls 100k late March, the only other race I could do schedule wise, but that meant almost 2 more months of training, and school is kicking my butt (and I found out the kids have something important that weekend too). BC was only 3 weeks away at this point and I figured   Staying in shape, finishing recovering my legs and just keeping them fresh, then taking 4-6 weeks off as a short off season sounded most doable and 'smart'. 

I've not put the pressure of Bandera on this race and it feels good. I am definitely going to give it my all, but not have expectations of top 2. I just want to have a race that feels strong to me that I'm more satisfied with, score some MUC points, hopefully come in somewhere around 6th (my favorite number and a bonus point with the cup) and then give my body a short off season. And survive nursing school. Speaking of which, I'm on the train almost to the children's hospital for a 12 hour clinical. 

Stick with your goal whatever it may be. Do something toward it every day if you can, even something small. I don't run every day, and when I don't, that something toward my goal may be 10-20 min of body weight strength training or core work. 10-20 min. We've all got 10-20 minutes. A lot of why I decided to do this race was some really great and influential quotes.

The first actually made me a little mad. Altra posted this the day before Bamdera and I was and am flattered!  But it also gave me a little of a sinking feeling reading it before Bandera, like premonition/superstition I wouldn't get my goal there. 

Well, this is a different path and I'm willing to go down it and give it a shot. The other quote that got me was on a friend Dana's photo. It said something to the effect of

Giving up on your goal after one setback is like slashing the other three tires on your car when one gets a flat

They say you usually only regret the things you don't do right?  I don't want to regret not giving it another go right now so BC it is in warm sunny Arizona in 2 weeks! ☀️